Tuesday, March 24, 2020

Of course this is a Covid19 post...

..is anyone talking about anything else?

So here we are; all staying home like everyone should, washing our hands, not touching our faces, and trying to decide if we need to change out of our sweat/yoga pants for video conferences if no one can see us from the waist down anyway. (My answer: probably not. Although everyone will see them when your cat walks across the table and knocks your hot coffee into your lap, causing you to jump up. On the other hand, you'll also be saying NSFW words, and making hilarious faces, so maybe your coworkers won't even notice that your yoga pants say "Juicy" across the butt.)

Our pets must think this is the most amazing time ever, because we don't grab our car keys and leave for hours every day anymore. My dog is delighted. She's constantly dropping toys at my feet, asking to play. The cats seem a little irritated, like my presence is interrupting their routine of naps, sleeping, and rest breaks.

"I can bring more toys, if these are not enough."

"Are you still here? Ugh."
And let's be honest: we are not a culture that is used to being home all the time. I consider myself very much a homebody, and it's a rare thing for me to leave my house after dinner. But puttering about the house doing this and that loses its charm quickly when you lose the option of doing anything else. 

Are you bored? I'm kinda bored. So I brainstormed some ideas of things to do while we all stay home and stay safe:

1. Take all those cardboard Amazon boxes you haven't broken down for recycling yet, and build your cat a castle. Google "cardboard cat house DIY" for some amazing pictures and ideas. 

Image result for cat cardboard house diy

2. Make a pet photo booth by cutting holes in a cardboard box for your pet to look through, and then drawing funny bodies/characters/actions underneath. (You can buy these online, but it's more fun to make your own, and you don't have to wait for shipping.) Take bunches of pictures and post them on social media for everyone to enjoy! 


Taking cat photos v innovation in health – what's easier? | by ...


3. Teach your dog to "find it!" This is a fun one to do with kids. They can take turns holding the dog and hiding the treats. Start with a really yummy treat, not just a piece of boring kibble, but something amazing that your dog will be excited about. Show it to him, and then let him watch you "hide" it somewhere obvious a few feet away. "Find it!" you say, and let him go get it. Good dog! Then let him watch you as you put it somewhere a little less obvious, like under a napkin on the floor. This gives him the idea that he might have to look a little harder. Be careful not to make it too difficult too soon. let him "find" the treats pretty easily at first. 

Then try taking him out of the room while you hide the treat (make it pretty easy this time), and see if he can find it when you bring him back in. And remember to use the command "Find it!" or something similar. 

Alternatively, you could use a special toy, something small, that your dog is excited about, like a squeaky ball.

After a while, you can step up the difficulty. Kids are great at this, and are very imaginative in their hiding places. Make sure to choose safe places where nothing will get broken or scratched up by an excited dog trying to get at his treasure. 

4. Build an obstacle course. Will your dog hop through a hula hoop? Can he walk along a plank? What about going under a blanket tented over a clothesline? Through a maze of cardboard boxes? You can try this with cats, too. Some might not be as enthusiastic, others will surprise you with their athleticism.

5. See if your pet can figure out the Shell Game -- you know, where you have three cups and there's a ball (or treat) under one. Move the cups around and see if your pet can guess where the treat is. My dog Josie was pretty good at this. My dog Jenny just wants to play with the cups. 

Okay, that's all I can write for now. Jenny is pestering me to go for a walk. At least we can still go outside and walk our dogs (as long as we maintain social distancing, of course)! 

Take care of yourself, and if you have any things you and your pets are doing to beat boredom, tell me about it in the comments! 

Monday, March 2, 2020

Free Box!

In my town, we have a thing called a Free Box. Folks around here will often put useful items they no longer want out in front of their house with a sign saying "Free" and there is absolutely no shame or judgement in checking it out and taking anything you want. Usually kitchen items, books, stuff like that. Sometimes there will be something completely amazing that I can't leave behind, and that's why I have this in the guest room: 


Yep, that is a lady in a chain mail bikini, standing on the wing of a four-legged dragon that has a chariot butt. She and her orc friends seem to have a real problem with snakes. The dragon's anatomy is a real stumper. Wheels AND four legs? And the wing -- shouldn't there be two?  But after looking at it for a while, I think I have figured it out, and the reasoning is actually pretty sweet: 

Notice how the front legs are grasping and clawing at the snakes, while the hind legs are just kind of dangling and stiff? It's plain that this poor dragon has suffered an injury and lost the use of his back legs.

Ysandri, scimitar queen and keeper of dragons: Alas! My dragon Edgho has been grievously wounded in battle! Bitten nigh in half by Kssssa the Lich Snake! Behold his useless limbs, his missing tail, his tattered wings! Surely he shall never bravely fight again by my side. Oh Edgho, my valiant beast-friend! (wails)

Orc 1: But wait! Orcs can help. Time can heal. All is not lost. 

Orc 2: Yes! Yes!  We have a plan. 

Ysandri, SQ and KoD: (blinks away tears) What's this? He can be saved? (frowns sadly) But a dragon that cannot fight is only half a dragon! 

Orc 2: (mutters) Is only half a dragon now. 

Ysandri, SQ and KoD: ...what?

Orc 1: (pushes Orc 2 aside) You wait. We work. Edgho fight again, soon.

Time passes with sounds of sawing and hammering, while Edgho sips weakly at broth and suffers daily bandage changes. Then, one day, the orcs have a surprise...

Orc 1: Prepare the giant spatula! 

Orc 2: (heaving and grunting noises)

There is a scraping noise, then a sound like half a dragon being dropped into a chariot.

Orc 1: Behold! 

Ysandri, SQ and KoD: But what is this? Edgho? How..?

Orc 1: Is good as new. Maybe not fly, but even more dangerous on ground now. 

Orc 2: Wheels crush all in path. 

Orc 2 is on crutches, his foot bandaged, and hops around to the back of the dragon to point at the chariot.

Orc 2: Even has new tail, all wood. Very strong. 

Ysandri, SQ and KoD: Oh Edgho! My brave boy! Let's go get revenge on Kssssa the Lich Snake by killing every snake we see! 

Thrilling music plays as a killer montage starts and we see the scene depicted above. 

There. See? This simple fantasy-style tapestry shows a heartwarming scene of a handi-capable dragon enjoying a happy day with his supportive friends. And you thought it was just some heavy metal nonsense.