Potty time!

I spend every day dealing with what comes out of animals, and fifteen years of experience has given me time to form some opinions on how to handle your pet's excretions. Let's have some potty talk!

Housebreaking a puppy is actually really easy. Companies make a big deal about pads and special sprays and all that garbage, but the simple truth is, normal dogs don't want to foul their dens. Your pup has a bladder roughly the size of a grape, so she can't hold it for long. Puppies have to pee all the time: when they wake up, after they've been playing, after they eat, and before going into the crate at bedtime. And tons of times in between! I took my pup outside every half hour during the day. I set the alarm on my watch to remind me. Every time it went off and she was awake, we went outside. She only ever had one indoor accident, and that was because I wasn't paying attention. And use a command! Tell her "Go potty" or "Do it" or "Hurry up" -- whatever you like as long as it's always the same. And when she goes, go crazy with the praise. You'll feel like a total idiot, I assure you, but she'll get the idea so fast and it's so much better than mopping up the carpet, right? And in the years to come, being able to take your dog outside and say "Hurry up" when it's 20 degrees and windy and you're in your pajamas, and watching her drop and squat like a champ-- it's worth it.

Make good use of baby gates or other blockades to keep them in one room (preferably one with a bare floor -- no carpet! The kitchen is usually good.)  I don't like using pads or newspapers because I think it can confuse a pup to be allowed to wee inside, but I understand that not everyone can stay at home with their puppy all day. A confined area with a toy or two, a bed, water bowl, and a few newspapers is a fine place for a puppy to spend time when you can't watch them every second.  Crates are beyond awesome, and I'll talk about them more another time.

Adult dogs with questionable habits can usually be retrained using the same methods, although they can generally go a little longer between times. I'd trust them for an hour, no more, until they started to get the idea.

Of course, some male dogs who aren't neutered or were neutered later in life may have developed the nasty habit of marking. This is about territory, not a need for relief, so it's a very hard habit to break. If you catch them at it and scold them, they just get more secretive about it. Sometimes the only thing you can do is keep them from making a mess. Belly bands are great for this, and also good for dogs that are incontinent due to age or medical issues.

A maxipad is held in place by a fabric band closed with velcro. Check and change the pad regularly, just like you would a baby's diaper, and don't leave it on 24/7 or --just like a baby-- he'll develop a rash. When he's outside, let some air and sunshine get down there! 

Females are usually less prone to marking, though there's always someone ready to show she's just like one of the guys. Bitch anatomy won't work with a belly band, so there are diaper pants available for the ladies. The problem with pants, male or female, is the issue of solids. When a dog poops while wearing a pants-style diaper, the poo tends to get squished around as they sit or lie down, making a real mess of their fur. No fun to clean up!  Looking at the picture below, I bet it would be relatively easy to adjust or trim the "tail hole" of these pants to allow for normal pooping, while still catching and absorbing the urine.

The product aisle of pet supply stores would have you believe that cleaning up your pet's indiscretions is a huge pain in the rear, but that's not necessarily so.  Isopropyl alcohol -- usually labelled as "rubbing alcohol" -- costs about a buck for a big bottle at the drug store, and it's the main ingredient in a lot of those flower-y smelling, expensive spray "treatments" you can find in the pet stores or cleaning aisle. Mix it 50/50 with water and put it in a spray bottle and you have a perfectly fine clean-up solution for hard surfaces or carpet, though it might dull the shine on hardwood, so test it somewhere inconspicuous first.

I have a whole rant about litterboxes, but this is long enough. Cat owners, stay tuned for next time!